


Fallen Angels

by orphan_account



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Sexy Zone
Genre: AU, M/M, Warning for suicide references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 16:48:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1312075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kento was an angel that wanted to be human, and Fuma was a human that did not want to continue living.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fallen Angels

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cortney (for always listening)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cortney+%28for+always+listening%29).



> So, this has kept me distracted for the last week. The idea came very sudden and did not let go of me. I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Kento had been an angel for as long as he could remember, which had been centuries, though he had lost count somewhere along the way, but never had he been as tired of his existence as he was now. 

He had seen yet another one of his proteges die this morning, her life circle coming to a natural end like it was supposed to, and while this was meant to be a happy day for every guardian angel, the ultimate proof that he had done his job right and was ready for new challenges now, to Kento, it became more painful each time it happened. 

They kept telling him that he was getting too emotionally attached to the humans he was protecting. And maybe it was true, because no other angel he had met had ever been this saddened by seeing someone die. It was the human nature, after all, and he knew that this was not the end, that they would be reborn for yet another life circle and get another chance to live, in another body with different circumstances. 

But still, it meant that _Kento_ had to part with them, and he hated to say goodbye. 

It had become harder with each protege he had watched living and leaving, these feelings inside of him becoming more pronounced with the time. He was not content anymore with just watching over them invisibly. He wanted to _take_ _part_ of their life, to talk to them, to have them smile at him. He wondered what it was like to feel their touch, to eat, to sleep, to breathe with them. 

Most angels were of the firm opinion that their race was the higher one, that humans were too weak, too easily hurt, but to Kento, humans were the most fascinating thing. 

They had told him legends, legends about fallen angels and how they had turned human again, and as he stood on the roof of this hospital, watching the sunset fall over Tokyo, he wondered if maybe, he should not try that as well. They said angels could not die, but even if he did, maybe it was better this way. He had lived long enough, and now was the perfect opportunity, really - his new protege would not be born for another hour, and they could easily find someone to replace him. 

He wanted to move, wanted to approach the railing and let himself fall, but somehow, his feet were not budging.

He stood there for another while, staring out over this city he had seen change in a way even history books could barely document, until this warm feeling spread through his chest, announcing that he was needed again. 

With a sigh, he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was inside the hospital. Nurses were running back and forth, only barely avoiding to bumb into him even if they could not see him. 

His eyes focused on a baby in the crib right in front of him. _Kikuchi Fuma_ was written on the small panel at his feet, and he bit his lip as he stepped forward. 

The baby had its eyes opened, dark and curious, and Kento had to smile as they focused on him. He had long since learned that it was better to show himself when he approached babies; they were much more sensitive to the presence of angels than adults were, and they would not remember ever having met him once they grew up, and even if they did they would think he had been an illusion. 

Fuma did not cry, unlike his last couple of proteges when Kento had first met them, and when Kento reached out a finger to tickle the baby’s tiny palm, he grabbed it and held on. Even if Kento could not feel the warmth of the skin, it felt kind of nice. 

“Shall I stay around for a little longer?” Kento whispered, but the baby was too busy pulling at his finger. “What do you think, Fuma?”

Clear eyes met him almost as if the newborn had understood him, and Kento knew that really, he had no choice. Damn him and his ridiculous weakness for humans. 

***

At first it was pleasant, watching Fuma grow up. He was a lively baby, curious and stubborn, and besides fixing some of the clumsier moments of Fuma’s mother (getting in trouble with _her_ guardian angel, an elderly women who seemed to be always that tiny bit slower than him), he did not have much to do throughout the first years of Fuma’s life. 

Sometimes, he would show himself to Fuma, mostly at night when his parents were asleep and he was wide awake in his crib. Fuma seemed to like seeing him. He smiled and reached out to him, and though he knew that he was not supposed to, sometimes he lifted him up and paced the room with him, talking and playing with him. Fuma grabbed his hair and his wings (accidentally pulling out some feathers, but Kento did not feel any pain), and those were the moments he felt most alive. 

Soon, Fuma became old enough to remember him, though, and when the 3-year-old first told his parents about that “bird” that came visiting him sometimes, Kento knew that he had to stop showing himself. Fuma’s parents thought that Fuma was making up an imaginary friend, of course, but if he continued getting in contact with him like this, he would get both of them in trouble.

Fuma seemed sad at first, sometimes waiting at night for him to turn up, but as soon as his parents brought him to kindergarten, he found real friends and forgot about Kento. 

Kento had to watch out for Fuma more now - the boy was a wild child, quickly getting himself into trouble, and though he had to let one or the other bruise happen for him to learn from them, he did his best to shield off everything that could possible harm him. 

Maybe he had also been too soft with him, he figured after a while, when Fuma started rebeling, testing the limits of what he could get away with. It was shortly after his brother had been born, and maybe Fuma could not deal with not being the center of attention anymore, Kento did not know and he could not ask him, either. 

It all went more or less smoothly, though, until Fuma turned fourteen. It had been after the birth of their third child, a baby sister Fuma absolutely adored, that the parents started to become rocky. First they hid it from the children, but soon they started to let their frustrations out on them. 

Especially on Fuma, who drew back more and more, unable to deal with all the harsh criticism he was receiving. 

Everything went downhill so quickly then that Kento had trouble comprehending it. Fuma started skipping school, hanging around all the wrong people. He came home late every night. His grades dropped. 

Kento felt anxious watching him, almost desperate in his need to _do_ something, even though he knew very well that this was not in his power. His job was to protect him from outer harm, but what Fuma was doing was different - he was hurting himself out of his free will. 

And again, Kento began to hate his existence as an angel. If he were human, if Fuma was just a guy in his class or a student of him, he could have reached out to help him. Like this, he could just stand back and watch. 

He was not surprised when the situation escalated shortly after Fuma’s sixteenth birthday. Fuma had come home in the middle of the night one too many times, and there had been this call from the principle, and his father started shouting at him the moment Fuma set foot through the door. 

They kept yelling for almost two hours, until his father’s hand slipped. Fuma packed his things the same night, and left the house. 

It was a nightmare for every guardian angel, their protege running away from home at sixteen, and Kento could not help but be a little mad at Fuma’s carelessness. Kento had always done his best to help Fuma, but the boy would just not let him. 

In the end, Kento was fed up, and used his powers to let social workers find the teenager. Fuma still refused to go home, and it was agreed with his parents that he would be brought to a foster home until all parties calmed down.

Fuma was still not happy there, but at least he was _safe_ , and that was enough for Kento, at least for now. 

Fuma only barely managed to finish high school, and as soon as he turned eighteen he left his foster parents’ house to find a job and get his own place. He started working on construction sites, giving Kento a handful because there were just too many dangers in such surroundings for a guy as clumsy and forgetful as Fuma was. 

But these were things Kento was used to. He could control these dangers. But what he could not control were Fuma’s depressions, and the way he drew in on himself more and more, barely talking to anyone anymore. He began to hate people, began to hate _himself_ , and Kento wanted to shake him and scream at him to stop being an immature child and start _living_.

Kento had been fond of Fuma from the moment the boy had grabbed his finger as a baby, and he knew that Fuma was a good guy. He had a heart of gold, and despite his sometimes rough manners could never hurt a fly. He was also intelligent, wasting all his potentials by slacking off at school, and Kento felt so sad watching him, because he knew Fuma could have an _amazing_ life. 

He was human and had all the possibilities Kento would have wished for, and he was throwing it all away, and Kento felt so, so _frustrated_ watching it. 

When he followed Fuma up the roof of the building he was living in shortly before his ninteenth birthday, he felt numb. He had a feeling of what Fuma was going to do, had seen this empty look in his eyes more than often enough, but still, when Fuma climbed over the railing, the fear and frustration and sadness Kento felt almost hurt him physically. 

Never once had any of his proteges tried to kill themselves, no matter how hopeless their situations, and that Fuma was going this far was too much for him to take. He knew that suicides would not be reborn, had heard horrible stories of their souls turning into almost demon like beings, and the imagination of such a fate waiting for Fuma...

“You are so stupid!” Kento yelled, and only when Fuma blinked and froze did he realize that he had accidentally become visible. He did not make an effort to hide again though as Fuma turned around slowly, staring at him with wide eyes. 

None of them said anything for a while, until Fuma murmured breathlessly: “Am I already dead? Is it over?”

“No you moron!” Kento groaned, rolling his eyes. 

“But… _what_ are you?!” Fuma called in panic, stumbling, and with a wave of his hand, Kento kept Fuma from falling. 

“What do I look like?!” I snapped, glaring at him. “I am your guardian angel!”

“What?!” Fuma squealed, his voice high, and Kento sighed in frustration.

“Well, whatever, you don’t need to believe me anyways” Kento shrugged, crossing his arms. “I quit. I’m sick of it!”

Fuma only blinked, not answering, and before he knew it, Kento was shouting at him. 

“I have been watching this for long enough, and I am sick of cleaning up after you! I have no problem with saving you, but what you are doing is different, you are destroying your life willingly!”

“You… you don’t know what it’s like!” Fuma called defensively, clinging to the rail. “You have no idea what it feels like to be me!”

“I have been watching you since you were a baby!” Kento yelled. “If anyone knows, I do!”

“But-” Fuma began speaking, but Kento cut him off, continuing.

“You have _everything_!” he called. “Your family is alive, you are healthy, you are smart, you are _human_. Do you have any idea what I would give to be you?!”

Fuma seemed frozen, eyes wide and focused on Kento. He did not answer, apparently could not bring himself to. 

“But whatever” Kento said finally, breathless. “Do whatever you please, I am not going to stop you. Jump. Throw your soul away, what is it to me?!”

Kento tried hard not to remember the way Fuma looked when he smiled, or how he had played with him as a baby when he turned his back to him and closed his eyes. 

He did not go far, finding himself inside Fuma’s small shabby apartment when he opened his eyes, but it was the first time since his birth that Kento had left Fuma’s side. 

He wished that angels could cry as he sat down on the window sill, staring outside, watching the people pass by, their angels following close behind them, and wondering once again how he had ended up in this role. 

He just wanted to be human so badly. Being an angel sucked. 

***

Kento did not count on it when the door to Fuma’s apartment opened not even an hour later. He only stared as Fuma came through the door, seeming confused and pale, but an overwhelming relief swept through him at seeing him alive. 

“Are you here?” Fuma whispered, looking around as if he was searching for a glimpse of him, and it reminded Kento of when he had been three and he had stopped showing himself to Fuma. “Can I please talk to you? I am sorry.”

Kento knew that he shouldn’t, that Fuma was not even supposed to know that he existed, but Fuma’s voice seemed so small, so fragile, that he could not help but reveal himself. 

Fuma stared at him as soon as their eyes met, not moving as he took in Kento’s appearance, and for a moment he wondered if maybe, he shouldn’t have, if it was too much of a shock for Fuma, after all…

But then Fuma sat down on his bed, facing him, and there was this curiousity back in his expression, the one he had had as a toddler, and it almost made Kento smile. 

“I am not dreaming, right?” Fuma said carefully. “You are really here.”

“Yes” Kento nodded. “Though you should not be seeing me. If anyone finds out I will be in trouble.”

“Sorry” Fuma said, a little sheepishly, and Kento snorted. “Do you have… a name or something?”

“Kento” The angel answered. 

“Kento” Fuma repeated, as if trying out the name on his tongue. “I know you. I used to see you when I was a kid.”

Kento was stunned at that piece of information, because never before had a protege remembered him. Well, never before had he talked to one when they had been grown up, either. 

“But then you stopped coming. It made me pretty sad” he concluded, and Kento bit his lip, feeling guilty now.

“I am sorry” Kento apologized, making Fuma chuckle. “I should not have-”

“I am glad you did” Fuma whispered, and Kento fell silent, simply looking at him. The next words seemed to take a lot of courage for Fuma, and his voice was shaky when he spoke. “Also for earlier. I am sorry”

“Never do this again” Kento murmured, his voice dark and his eyes narrowing at him.

“I did not think it would upset anyone if I disappeared” Fuma explained, and Kento made a face. “It’s kind of nice to know I was wrong, though.”

“You were lonely for too long” Kento whispered. “If you started letting people into your life again, you would feel better.”

“Everyone I let in leaves me again” Fuma pointed out. “So why bother?” Kento frowned, wanting to tell him that he was wrong, but before he could find the words, Fuma continued: “But you won’t leave, right? You will be staying.”

“Of course” Kento blinked. “Where should I go?”

Fuma smiled at that, the first honest smile he had seen on him in maybe _years_ , and it made him happier than it should. 

Maybe he was too attached to his proteges, after all, and above all too attached to Fuma. 

***

Fuma stayed up all night, just talking to Kento. At first it stunned Kento, all the questions Fuma asked about him, the curiousity behind them, but then he started to enjoy it, because he had never talked to _anyone_ like that. Angels were not usually very conversational, and Kento enjoyed the interest Fuma showed in him, the way he hung on every word Kento said. 

“You said you wanted to be me” Fuma asked quietly, when Kento had moved over to the bed with him, lying next to him on his back, and Fuma absentmindedly traced the feathers of his wings with his fingers. “Why?”

Kento took a deep breath, because he had never told this anyone, but on the other hand, no one had ever offered to listen before, either. 

“I wished I could be human like you” Kento admitted finally, not looking at Fuma.

“Why?” Fuma repeated, frowning. “Is being an angel no fun?”

“Not really” he sighed. “Well sometimes. I like humans and I like helping them. But then I also have to watch them suffer, and I never get to talk to them, and…”

“You are talking to me now” Fuma pointed out, and Kento had to smile at that.

“Which I really shouldn’t do” he teased. Fuma stuck out his tongue, and Kento laughed. 

“But really, being human is not so great” Fuma sighed, and Kento rolled his eyes at him. 

“You can eat” he pointed out impatiently. “You can smell things, you can sleep. You can talk to people, and be friends with them. Fall in love. Feel it when they touch you. Those are amazing things. I am so jealous.”

“You can’t do that?” Fuma blinked, his fingers halting. “You don’t feel this?” 

“No” Kento said regretfully. “Not the way you do, at least.”

Fuma frowned, and hesitantly reached out until the knuckles of his fingers caressed Kento’s cheek.

“This?” Fuma checked.

“No” Kento whispered, looking at him. “Though I really wished I could.”

“I can feel you, though” Fuma murmured. “Your skin is warm and soft.”

“Really?” Kento asked, excited at that. “Can you smell me too?”

“Yes” Fuma shrugged.

“What do I smell like?” he inquired, making Fuma pop an eyebrow in thought.

“A little like vanilla?” Fuma tried. “Somehow sweet.”

Kento smiled in awe, and it made Fuma laugh. 

“But weren’t you human once?” he asked finally. “I always thought angels used to be human that lived their life especially virtuous or something.”

“I used to be human” Kento confirmed. “But it’s been centuries ago, I remember nothing. Human memories are too faint to last for such a long time. But no, I did not become an angel because I lived an especially good life, to answer your question. I became an angel because my life was taken by someone else.”

“You… were killed?” Fuma asked in shock, and Kento nodded. “How?”

“I don’t know” Kento shrugged. “And I can’t find out either. It was back when lifes were not as proper documented as they are nowadays.”

“How old are you exactly?” Fuma mused, and Kento looked at him with raised eyebrows. 

“I lost count sometime after three centuries” was all he said, and Fuma shook his head in wonder. 

“And in all this time, you never talked to anyone?” Fuma whispered. “You never had a friend?”

“Angels are not supposed to have friends” Kento frowned. “We are not the kind of social creatures you are.”

“Then why do you seem so lonely?” Fuma inquired, making Kento fall silent. Fuma sighed, and Kento blinked when Fuma leaned his head against his shoulder, closing his eyes. “If I sleep now, will you still be here in the morning?”

“Yes” Kento nodded, unable to keep from reaching out and running his hand through Fuma’s light brown hair. Even though he could not feel it, the light that fell into the room reflected beautiful on it, and Fuma sighed in contentment. 

“Good” was all he said, and Kento kept his eyes on Fuma’s face, watching him as he drifted off to sleep. 

***

Kento did not hide anymore from Fuma from that night on, and Fuma seemed to be happy to have someone to watch out for him, always turning to check if Kento was still there with him. 

Kento was a little scared that Fuma would become too focused on him, would give up on other social contacts and just concentrate on him, but for now, he was happy about anything that would keep Fuma from doing stupid things. Besides, Fuma smiled and seemed to like talking to him, and if Kento was honest with himself, he enjoyed this contact with Fuma more than anything. 

And it seemed to help Fuma, because with every day he spent with Kento, he seemed to be a little more balanced. He started talking to his colleagues, starting to sing in the shower, started to _enjoy_ living again, and watching it filled Kento with a happiness that was almost overwelming. 

But letting Fuma see him also had its downsides. Fuma reached out to him constantly, treated him like he was _human_ , and it made Kento wish so much harder that he _could_ be. Every time Fuma touched him he wished he could feel it, wished he could smell the scent of his shampoo when Fuma came out of the shower, wished he could sleep in his arms just like Fuma slept in his almost every night. 

“Do you want some?” Fuma asked, catching Kento staring longingly at his food. “Are you hungry?”

“I can’t be hungry” Kento reminded him with a sigh. “Also I can’t taste anything so it would be a waste.”

“You can still try” Fuma frowned, offering a spoon of his curry. “Come on!”

Kento only opened his mouth because Fuma practically shoved the spoon into his face, but the result was to be expected.

“Nothing?” Fuma asked with a sigh, and Kento shook his head as he made an effort to swallow. “Jeez. I can understand why you want to be human somehow. There is so much food I would miss!”

“Of course the only thing you would miss is the food!” I scoffed, and Fuma laughed.

“But say, is there no way you could turn human again?” Fuma asked seriously, looking at him like Kento had probably just looked at the food, and it made him feel weird. “I mean, you used to be human, after all.”

“There are legends” he admitted.

“What legends?” Fuma prodded. “Maybe we could-”

“They say fallen angels become human again” Kento interrupted him, silencing him immediately. “And I really should _not_ find out if that is true.”

“Fallen angels as in… angels that kill?” Fuma whispered, and Kento looked at him in confusion.

“Angels don’t kill” he said indignantly. “Angels watch over life, but they don’t give or take it. That is nonsense.”

“Then what are fallen angels?!” Fuma frowned. 

“Angels that died” Kento said hesitantly. “Though angels cannot really die.”

“... I don’t get it” Fuma admitted, and Kento shrugged. 

“Me neither” he said thoughtfully. “I mean, I was always told that angels can’t die because we don’t live, but… there are reports of angels disappearing from time to time. They say that they jumped off high places… and became human again. This is why nobody can find them.”

“So, you mean… they killed themselves?” Fuma asked, and his voice was shaky. Kento nodded, still in thought, and he did not expect it when Fuma reached over to lace his fingers through Kento’s. “Don’t do it!” he whispered, and Kento blinked.

“I never said I was planning to” Kento pointed out, but Fuma squeezed his hand even tighter. Once more Kento wished he could feel it. 

“I could not take it if you disappeared” Fuma whispered. “You have to stay with me. Please.”

“Of course I will stay with you” Kento said quickly, not having expected that reaction from his protege. “I am your guardian angel! I am not going anywhere!”

“Good” Fuma murmured, taking a deep breath before turning back to his food. 

Watching him, Kento asked himself once again if it had been a mistake to grow this close to Fuma.

***

Both Kento and Fuma were stunned when the receptionist of Fuma’s company started to flirt with him. She was pretty, Kento had to admit, even if he could not feel attracted to humans, but he could still admire their beauty, and she was definitely beautiful. 

Each one of his proteges had fallen in love at some point, so it was natural that Fuma would as well, even if Kento had not really thought about it in his current situation. But on the other hand, Fuma was handsome and kind, and others would have to be blind to not notice that. 

It was good for Fuma, he decided, and tried not to feel panicked about Fuma forgetting him once he was in a relationship. He had known this situation could not last forever. Angels were not meant to spend time with their proteges like he was spending time with Fuma anyways. Everything would just go back to normal. No need to feel anxious. 

“You should go” Kento told Fuma after she had invited him out to drinks with a few other colleagues the same night. “It would be good for you.”

“I don’t want to” Fuma murmured with a frown. “I am not interested in her.”

“Why not? She is pretty, even I can see that.” Kento argued.

“She is not my type” Fuma shrugged, and Kento rolled his eyes because he had never shown any indication for any type before. 

“Social contacts are good though” Kento pointed out. “Just go and have fun!”

“Can’t we just stay in and watch a movie?” Fuma complained.

“You can’t always sit at home with your guardian angel” Kento scoffed. “That’s not right!”

“Why not?” Fuma snapped. “I like being with you much more than with anyone else.”

“You should not even know of my existence!” Kento groaned. “It’s time you found some _real_ friends!”

“You _are_ real!” Fuma called, seeming deeply upset by Kento’s words somehow.

“Well, yes” Kento nodded. “But I am not human. Only you can see me.”

“Still, you are enough” Fuma whispered. “I don’t need anyone else.”

“Fuma” Kento sighed, closing his eyes. “If you are being like this, I have to stop talking to you again. You can’t build your life around me! I am not supoosed to be part of your life like that.”

“You promised me not to disappear” Fuma reminded him. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“If it were for your sake, I would” Kento admitted. “It’s my job to protect you, remember?” Fuma looked like he had just slapped him, and it made Kento feel awful. “I don’t _want_ to disappear” he reminded him. “You know I don’t want to.”

“If I go out with them, will you be quiet?” Fuma asked, not looking at Kento. 

“Yes” the angel nodded. 

“Fine, then I’ll go” Fuma said. “But I don’t want you around during that time.”

“I can be invisible” Kento frowned. “But I have to be there, in case something happens. You know I can’t just leave your side.”

Fuma murmured something under his breath before taking some clothes and disappearing into the bathroom. 

Fuma did not speak to Kento for the rest of the night, making him wonder if he had gone too far with his threat to stop speaking to him. When they took off for the restaurant Fuma was supposed to meet his colleagues in, Kento asked Fuma if he wanted him to become invisible already. Fuma just shrugged, and Kento took that as a yes. 

Fuma seemed weirdly lost as soon as he was unable to see Kento. He looked over his shoulder every now and then as if trying to find him, but thought better of it a moment later and continued his way. 

Even when he arrived at the restaurant, Fuma seemed uncomfortable. The girl that had invited him tried to immediately involve him in a conversation, but Fuma merely nodded in response to her words, not actually participating, still looking around restlessly. 

It was when the girl got closer to him, touching his shoulder and laying a hand on his thigh, that the situation changed drastically. 

For one, Kento was overcome with this intense feeling of longing, so strong that it hurt him almost physically. Because this girl, she was touching Fuma and feeling him, and probably smelling him too and it were all things Kento wished he could do as well, so badly, and it made watching the scene suddenly nearly unbearable.

He did not have long to take things in though before Fuma jumped up, hastily excusing himself to the bathroom. Kento had trouble to make his feet move to follow him. 

“Kento?” Fuma asked as soon as Fuma had closed the bathroom door behind him. Thankfully, there was no one else in the room. “Kento, I know you are here.”

“What is it?” Kento asked, and his voice was strangely unsteady as he showed himself to Fuma again.

“Let’s go home” Fuma murmured desperately, grabbing his wrist. “I don’t want this. Please.”

“Why?” Kento blinked. “I don’t-”

“I love someone else!” Fuma blurted out, squeezing Kento’s wrist tighter. “I can’t go out with anyone when I feel like that!”

“But… who-” Kento stuttered, his head spinning, but he did not get to articulate the question, because next thing he knew, Fuma’s lips were on his. 

All he could do was stare. Fuma’s eyes were closed and his arms circled him as he kissed him, desperate and demanding, and Kento did not know what to do.

“Tell me you can feel this” Fuma whispered against his lips. “Please, Kento.”

“I can’t” Kento murmured, and the look of utter defeat in Fuma’s eyes was the worst thing he had ever seen, in hundreds of years of life. “Fuma-”

“ _How can you not feel this?!_ ” he demanded, and there were tears in his eyes and his voice. His hands came to Kento’s chest, hastily running touches down to his stomach, and grabbing him through the white pants he was wearing, and Kento tried to feel it, he really tried, but there was nothing, no reaction of his body at all. “ _Kento!_ ”

“I am sorry” Kento whispered, and he felt _horrible_ , defect and useless, even more when he saw the tears running down Fuma’s cheeks. “I really wished I could. I wished I could be with you like this, Fuma, I swear, but-”

“I know” Fuma whispered, pulling away and turning his back to Kento.

Kento wanted to hug him, because even if he could not feel it, Fuma could, and he did not want him to cry, especially not because of him. 

“Can you leave?” Fuma asked, his voice shaking. “Please, just for a while. I really can’t have you here right now.”

Kento knew he shouldn’t, that it was irresponsible to leave Fuma alone, especially while he was out somewhere, but still, Kento closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was back in Fuma’s empty apartment. 

He let himself fall onto his bed and made himself as small as he could, feeling as lonely as he had never before. 

***

Fuma came home after midnight. Kento made himself invisible the moment he entered through the door, but apparently, he was not fast enough. Fuma was staring at the bed, obviously knowing exactly where Kento was, and after he had kicked off his shoes, he lay down as well, reaching out until his hands found Kento’s torso. 

He alligned himself with Kento’s back then, leaning his head against one of Kento’s wings, and embraced him tightly. 

“I am sorry” Fuma whispered.

“Me too” Kento responded, reluctantly becoming visible again. Fuma retaliated by hugging him tighter. 

They did not exchange any more words, and Fuma was asleep soon, obviously exhausted. 

Kento carefully turned in his embrace until he could watch his face. His fingers reached out to stroke over it softly, but again, there was nothing, and it made Kento ball his hand into a fist. 

With a soft kiss to Fuma’s forehead, he disentangled himself from Fuma’s grip and stood up. 

***

Fuma knew something was wrong when he woke up and Kento was not in his arms anymore. Kento never moved away from him while he was sleeping, or ever, really. 

He was quick to find the note lying on the table, and reading it, he felt like his heart stopped.

_I am sorry for breaking my promise._

_I love you, never forget that._

_Yours, Kento_

He only stared at the note for a moment, his hands shaking so hard that he could not even read it anymore, and then, he was running. 

Fuma had no idea where to search, what to do. He knew that he would never find Kento if he did not want him to, but he still had to try, even if he had no idea where to go. 

He froze when he remembered the conversation he had had with Kento a while ago, about fallen angels. The expression on Kento’s face when he told him about it. Fuma felt cold suddenly, almost shivery. No. Kento would not do anything stupid. Kento had always been so level-headed. He had been the one telling Fuma to live, so he wouldn’t…

But this was different, Fuma realized. Kento did not want to die. He wanted to _live_ , as a human, together with Fuma, and after what Fuma had said last night, maybe he would even go as far to risk his life for it. 

Carefully, he turned back to his apartment building, looking up to the 12 story high roof, the one _he_ had tried to jump down from not too long ago. He could not see anything though, not from this angle, so he stormed back to the door, needing to check, to make sure…

His hand was just turning the doorknob when there was a dumb sound of something hitting the ground. A shudder went up and down his back, and he did not dare to turn around to check, could not…

Everything was spinning when he slowly looked over his shoulder, and there was Kento, lying on the floor, no obvious wound, but also not moving, eyes closed. 

Also, his wings were gone.

“Kento!” Fuma screamed, running, dropping to his knees at Kento’s side, shaking him. “Kento! Can you hear me?! Answer! Kento!”

“Did something happen?” A young man called, but Fuma was not ready to answer, his mind spinning. He only looked up when the guy kneeled down next to him, asking: “Did he collapse? Shall I call an ambulance?”

“You… can see him?” Fuma whispered, and the guy only looked at him in confusion. 

His fingers were shaking as he reached out, trying to feel Kento’s pulse… and freezing when he actually found one. 

“Kento…” he whispered, only staring at him, not even noticing it when the other guy brought out his phone to call an ambulance. 

***

Kento’s body felt heavy, incredibly heavy, and everything was hurting, especially his head. He felt sick and cold and he did not know what was happening. Maybe he was really dying, he thought. He did not remember what it had felt like to die as a human, so he would not know. 

Fuma would be devastated, he thought for a moment, but there was no time to dwell on the feeling of guilt, because next thing he knew, he heard Fuma’s voice. 

Fuma was calling his name, and Kento was confused, because if he was really dying, why was Fuma here? This made no sense.

“Kento” Fuma called. “Kento, can you hear me? Please open your eyes.”

He tried, and his eyelids were unbearably heavy but then, he managed to blink. The light was bright and it felt like needles in in his eyes, but then he felt a warm hand clinging to his, _felt it_ , and suddenly, he knew what was happening.

He forced him eyes open and, with some difficulty, turned his head to meet Fuma’s eyes.

“Kento” he whispered, reaching out to touch his cheek, and it was soft and gentle and Kento could _feel_ it, and he wanted to cry, surprised when tears actually rose in his eyes. 

“I am human, right?” he whispered, and his voice was raspy and sore and he could even feel that, the pain and the sharpness, and he embraced that.

“Yes” Fuma whispered, and there were tears in his eyes as well, good tears, happy tears, and when he leaned over to kiss him on the forehead, his lips tingled against Kento’s skin in a really nice way. 

Fuma pulled him into a hug then, and even though everything was still hurting, Kento hugged him back, the warmth of Fuma’s body tuning out all other feelings. 

***

At first, Kento was overwhelmed by all the things he was suddenly feeling. _Everything_ seemed to have a scent, even the air, and he had never known water could be delicious, and then there was Fuma, never leaving his side. 

Fuma’s skin was warm and soft and his hair was silky and he smelled really good, though Kento could not yet distinguish the scents well enough to compare it to something. He only needed to smile at Kento to make his heart beat faster, and when he touched him, his skin tingled weirdly, but it felt really awesome. 

“Where are we going?” Kento asked as Fuma dragged him along, his hand held firmly by the other boy’s.

“We will eat” Fuma smirked, his eyes glistening in a really beautiful way that took Kento’s breath away. “I am inviting you. Eat whatever you want.”

And Kento did, drowning in the taste of everything Fuma presented him with, probably eating a day worth of Fuma’s salary and feeling pretty bad about it afterwards, but Fuma only laughed when he mentioned it, seeming utterly fascinated by every emotion that ran over his face while Kento ate. 

When they arrived at Fuma’s apartment, Kento was so tired that Fuma shoved him into his bed, not caring that it was the middle of the afternoon. 

“You just came out of the hospital” Fuma reminded him. “You can sleep all you want.”

“Will you hold me?” Kento asked, sounding a little childish even to his own ears, but Fuma did not laugh at him, only slipped under the covers with him and pulled Kento’s body against his.

Fuma was warm and comfortable and the circles his fingers drew over his back felt really nice and relaxing, lulling him off to sleep immediately. 

***

_“You seem happy” Archangel Raphael told Kento, and it was the first time Kento had seen him smile in all those centuries he had known him._

_“I am sorry for breaking the rules” Kento said quietly. “I just-”_

_“I knew it would happen eventually” the archangel admitted, taking Kento off guard. “I could see it in your eyes whenever you looked at a human. And especially since Kikuchi Fuma became your protege. He was special to you from the start.”_

_Kento kept silent, not sure what to say, or if he would be punished now for leaving his race, but then Raphael reached out to pat his head softly, and Kento looked into his light blue eyes, blue like the sky._

_“Your life was taken too early back when you were still a human. You were not ready to be an angel. Still, you did an amazing job all these centuries. Now it’s time for you to go back to the human world, where you belong.”_

_“So… I can be with Fuma?” Kento asked hopefully, and the archangel smiled._

_“I prepared a few things for you. When you wake up, check the drawer of the desk.” Before Kento could comprehend his words, Raphael stepped back from him and bowed deeply. “It was a pleasure knowing you, Nakajima Kento. Please live your life to its fullest. I don’t want to hear any complaints from your guardian angel.”_

_Raphael’s smile was almost blinding, and then, everything became white._

When Kento opened his eyes, his body still felt heavy and exhausted, but Fuma was holding him tightly, fast asleep himself, and his warmth felt soothing. 

Kento just lay there for a minute, trying to figure out if it had been a dream or if it had been real, but then, he knew the ways of angels, and they did not turn up in human dreams without a reason. 

Kento made a face as he tried to sit up, but Fuma’s grip kept him immobile, and the other boy stirred from the movement. 

“Kento?” he whispered sleepily, and Kento looked up at him. “Is everything okay?”

“I need to check the drawer” Kento murmured, struggling to sit up again without success. 

“You are not moving out of this bed” Fuma grumbled, burrying his face in Kento’s hair, and Kento whined. 

“I just met the archangel Raphael in my dream” he complained. “He told me to check the drawer, so let me-”

“Okay, okay, I will check” Fuma said finally, sitting up and pushing Kento back against the mattress gently. “I will check and you will calm down, okay?”

Kento smiled, and Fuma chuckled as he stretched, getting up to walk across the room. 

“So the angels are talking to you through your dreams?” Fuma frowned, and Kento was glad that he just accepted his words as the truth, not doubting them. “Are they mad at you for leaving them?”

“No” Kento smiled. “The archangel wished me a happy life.”  
“That’s good” Fuma sighed, opening the drawer, reaching inside. Out he pulled a stack of paper, his wide eyes informing Kento that those had not been there before. 

“What is it?” Kento asked impatiently, finally scrambling up into a sitting position despite the way his limbs were protesting the effort, eyes glued to Fuma’s blank face as he looked through the papers in his hands.

“An ID card” Fuma murmured. “ _Nakajima Kento_. Wow, could they not have given you a more special name?”

“Shut up!” Kento chuckled, feeling giddy now, like a child on christmas morning. “What else?”

“Documents for a bank account, and… _holy shit, Kento!_ The pay well for centuries of angel services. You are rich, damnit!”

Kento reached out and Fuma handed him the papers, letting him see for himself. Before Kento could find his account balance, though, Fuma called: “Hey, they signed you up for University!”

“Seriously?!” Kento squealed, thrilled at those news. “I always wanted to go!”

“You are doing social studies at Meiji Gakuen University” Fuma grinned. “They even chose something that complements your obsession with humans!”

Kento crawled over the bed, almost tearing the papers as he snatched them out of Fuma’s hands, and the other retaliated with a laugh, plopping back onto the bed next to him, picking up Kento’s ID again to study the data on it as Kento excitedly went through the courses that had been picked for him. 

“Your birthday is only 4 days after mine” Fuma commented. “And you are one year older than me. Well, biologically, at least.”

Kento wanted to laugh, but he froze when he turned a page of the documents in his hand, realizing that it was not his name on them. 

“Fuma” Kento murmured, stunned as he stared at it. “They signed you up for the same courses as me.”

“ _What_?!” Fuma called, looking at him like he had grown a second head. “Come off it, what university would ever take me with the grades I used to have at school?!”

“They did, though!” Kento insisted, showing the papers to his incredulous friend. 

“But…” Fuma whispered, shaking his head in wonder. “How…?”

“Maybe they thought you deserve a second chance, too?” Kento smiled, and Fuma met his eyes almost shily now. “And you regret the way your life went, don’t you?”

“... Yes” Fuma admitted. “Ever since you told me what I could have had… I kind of wanted it.”

“Well, then let’s try our best together” Kento grinned, reaching out to lace his fingers through Fuma’s, a little spark of electricity going through his body at the touch. “As partners.”

Fuma looked at him in wonder, before leaning in slowly.

This time, Kento felt it when Fuma’s lips covered his. Fuma kissed him softly, slow and careful, but Kento felt his blood rushing through his veins, and he forgot how to breathe, his heart almost jumping out of his chest at the feelings that were overwhelming him. It was all so intense that he had to close his eyes to not pass out from it, and Fuma pulled away too soon, regarding him almost worriedly. 

“You aren’t breathing” he noted, and Kento took a gasping breath, opening his eyes. “Oxygen is no privilege for you, Kento, it’s a need now!”

“I know” Kento murmured, and he could feel the heat in his face, and _oh_ , this was what it felt like to blush, and Fuma smiled as he reached out to cup his red cheeks. 

“Please tell me you could feel it this time” he whispered finally, locking eyes with Kento, making the other boy smile. 

“Yes” Kento whispered. “Please do it again.”

“Remember to breathe” Fuma glared, but smiled when Kento laughed, leaning in again.

Kento loved everything about being human, the taste of food and drinks, the scents, the weather, the warmth of another person’s touch, _everything_ , but kissing Fuma felt almost out of a different dimension, nearly surreal. He felt himself drown in it, his fingers finding Fuma’s shoulder and hair just because he needed something to hold onto, something to ground him to this world he was not ready to leave ever again. 

Kento did not know how long they kissed, it could have been days for all he knew, but when Fuma pulled away, it was still too early. He chuckled at Kento’s protesting whimper, sounding breathless as well, and Kento asked himself if he had been breathing properly despite his earlier warnings, but then Fuma whispered: “We should put your things away again, your angels will be mad when we ruin them on the very first day.”

“Oh” Kento murmured, blinking as he looked back to all the papers spread around them, totally having forgotten about their existence, and Fuma laughed as he pecked his nose and let go of him to clean up. 

Kento tried to help him, but Fuma still refused to let him get up, so he just flopped down on the side Fuma was already done with and watched him walk around the room. He stuffed the papers safely away and got a bottle of water, forcing Kento to drink, claiming he would forget it if not reminded (and maybe he was right, Kento realized as he emptied almost half of the bottle in one go). 

When Kento finally pulled Fuma back onto the bed, the other boy brushed his hair out of his eyes with a soft smile, murmuring: “You should really sleep some more. You look incredibly tired.”

Kento was exhausted, and his body still felt heavy, but he was awake and just that tiny bit hyper and not at all ready to close his eyes again. He did not know how to put that into words, though, so he just pulled Fuma into another kiss, hoping he would understand. 

It was addicting, Fuma’s lips against his, and Fuma seemed happy to indulge him for a while, to just keep kissing him without any haste, as if they had all the time in the world. But the longer Fuma kissed him, the longer more time he took for him, the more restless Kento felt, and he did not really understand it. It was like his mind was buzzing, all his senses electrified, and he needed to move his hands, grip Fuma’s hair or shoulder or arm or _anything_. 

Fuma pulled away to study his face after a while, and he was not sure what he was searching for in it, did not know what to do because his face was flushed and maybe he would be scolded again for not breathing properly. 

“We should stop” Fuma whispered, gulping, and Kento shook his head almost panicky. “I won’t be able to anymore if we continue now, and… we really should not…”

Kento squeezed his shoulder in desperation, not sure what exactly he was longing for but hoping that Fuma understood anyways because he knew these human feelings better than Kento did, and Fuma bit his lip, seeming conflicted. 

When Fuma reached out to run a feather light touch over the skin of Kento’s throat, Kento arched his neck at the feeling, giving Fuma better access, all of it feeling like another electric shock, especially when Fuma leaned in to sprinkle kisses to follow up his touches. 

“I feel like I am tainting something pure” Fuma whispered, opening his mouth to taste Kento’s skin, squeezing a breathless sound out of Kento. 

“I thought you wanted to touch me?” Kento barely managed to articulate.

“Of course I want to” Fuma whispered, his hot breath hitting Kento’s skin, making him shiver. 

“Well, I want you to as well” Kento said simply. “It’s the main reason I became human, after all.”

Fuma held in for a moment, and Kento feared that he had said something wrong, that he would really stop now, but then, Fuma’s lips were on his again, more demanding than before, and Kento let himself fall into it, giving himself totally into Fuma’s hands. 

Fuma’s touches and kisses overwhelmed him, ruled every thought in his mind, and made him lose track of everything else. He barely realized it when his clothes disappeared piece for piece, immediately distracted by the way Fuma’s fingers found a new part of his skin. 

Breathing became more and more of an issue, but this time Fuma did not scold him, seeming to have the same problem, and maybe that belonged to being human as well, Kento thought fleetingly, that sometimes other things were more important than oxygen.

Also, Kento began to feel something new, things he had never even considered before, a warmth between his legs and a tightness in his belly, and when Fuma’s fingers closed around his shaft, he realized what it all meant. 

He had watched several of his proteges have sex, never quite understanding the appeal of it other than reproduction, but now, with an almost unbearable pleasure running through his veins at Fuma’s touch, he finally realized that there was more to it than he had ever been able to tell. 

“Kento” Fuma whispered, making Kento open his eyes to catch the other staring at his face, seeming in a near trance, and somehow it made Kento feel even higher when their gazes met. “How far am I allowed to go?”

“Do whatever you want” Kento murmured, and he knew he sounded desperate, but he did not care. Everything Fuma did felt too awesome for that. “Just don’t stop.”

“Don’t trust me like this” Fuma sighed. “You know best how much I fuck the important things up.”

“You don’t” Kento shook his head, frowning. “Sometimes you lose your way, but I am here to pull you back again. So everything will be fine.”

Fuma looked like he was going to cry, but he just leaned in to kiss Kento again, not saying any more. 

When Fuma pulled away completely a while later, Kento was disoriented, confused, but Fuma kissed his forehead and told him to wait, and Kento nodded fuzzily. Fuma tucked him safely under the covers when he got out of bed, but Kento still felt cold without Fuma’s heat, and watched with a frown as the other disappeared into the bathroom. 

Kento could hear loud rummaging, intrigued by the noises, but when Fuma returned, he had a body lotion in hand and seemed almost as flushed as Kento felt. He slipped out of his pants and underwear before slipping back under the covers with Kento. 

“I don’t have anything” Fuma murmured with a sigh, fumbling nervously with the tube in his hands. “I hope this will work, but… if not, tell me, and we can… do something else… or…”

“I trust you” Kento just repeated, not really understanding what Fuma was going on about, but Fuma seemed reassured by his words anyways, nodding. 

Fuma opened the cap and poured some lotion into his palm before kissing Kento again, deep and languidly, and Kento was quick to get lost in it again. 

When Fuma’s slick fingers found their way between his legs, exploring the gap between his butt cheeks, Kento was still too distracted by the other’s tongue to react. His attention only shifted when the fingers found his entrance, circling it, but he decided to just keep kissing Fuma, to leave the rest to him. 

Fuma was gentle, his fingers stroking their way into him softly, and even if it was uncomfortable and intense at first, Kento was relaxed because it was Fuma and it would be fine. It took a while until he had opened up to Fuma properly, but soon, Fuma’s fingers moved easily inside of him, and Kento felt himself moving against them, wanting more. 

When Fuma found a new spot inside of him, Kento moaned against his partner’s lips, arching his back, and Fuma continued prodding him there until he felt like screaming. 

“Fuma” he brought out breathlessly. “Please! I-”

“Okay” Fuma nodded, and then, his fingers were gone. Kento felt strangely empty at first, but only until Fuma squirmed and his erection pressed to his entrance, making him close his eyes at the feeling and circle his arms around Fuma’s neck.

“Okay” Fuma repeated, and with a little hesitance, he started to press into him.

Fuma felt different than his fingers had, but Kento could take it, his senses still buzzing nicely and tuning out almost all unpleasant feelings. Fuma was all inside faster than he could comprehend it, trembling in his arms and breathing uncontrolled, and it made him hold onto him tighter.

“Move” he prompted, and Fuma nodded shakily, pressing an uncoordinated kiss to his jaw before pulling out a little and thrusting back inside. 

Kento gasped, the friction feeling _amazing_ , and all he could do was hold on as Fuma did it again, and again, slowly taking away all of Kento’s coherency. 

Fuma’s mouth was next to his ear and he kept moaning softly, his breath hitting the shell of it and making him shiver, and then, Fuma reached into him even deeper and found that spot inside of him, the one that had him cling to his shoulders and moan deeply.

Kento felt like falling then, and Fuma’s body against his was the only thing that kept him grounded as the pleasure overwhelmed him. 

When it was over, he felt exhausted and raw, as if both his brain and his body could not deal with any more emotions, but Fuma was stroking his hair out of his face and holding him close, and it made everything better. 

“Sleep” Fuma whispered, kissing his temple, and Kento nodded weakly. The last thing he knew was Fuma’s arm curling around him, pulling him even closer, and Kento felt alive and safe, and it was the best feeling in the entire world. 


End file.
